“It’s just that right now I’m struggling with some very important stuff, so… I’ll focus on all this once I’m done with that,” I promised, and he started giggling.
“I understand. Thank you. And if you ever need some help with that ‘very important stuff’ of yours, let me know.”
“Of course. Thank you, Keith. You’re always such a huge help.”
He looked very, very happy. This was the Keith I knew. He was always by my side, smiling.
But there’s one last thing I still need to tell him…
“I’m still very confused and scared about love. But I was happy to hear that you love me. I could only be happy hearing something like that coming from a person as wonderful as you are,” I said for the second time in a day, feeling my face getting hot once again.
“That’s it. Good night!” I concluded, rushing out of Keith’s room before he even had time to reply.
I ran into my room, where my bright red face ended up making Anne worry for me.
“I’m fine, I was just sprinting through the hallways.”
“You know that you should not do that, or your mother will be angry at you again,” she calmly responded.
“You’re right… I’ll be more careful,” I replied, grateful that mother hadn’t seen me run.
I drank some water and waited for my face to cool off before going to bed. I didn’t know that just telling someone that you were happy about their confession could be so painfully embarrassing. I was obviously still a rookie when it came to romance. However, I didn’t want to see Keith and Jeord making those sad faces anymore.
That’s one more reason to fight the game’s doom! I can’t just go and disappear after I’ve told those things to those two. I’ll survive FL2 and I’ll face my feelings. I’m not going to run away anymore.
I needed to think about my plans regarding the game and the doom it threatened me with, but today I’d done and said things that I’d never done and said ever before. I was exhausted.
I fell asleep within seconds and had a beautiful dream where I saw Keith and Jeord smiling happily.
I’m going to do my best.
★★★★★★
When I heard that my sister Katarina had come back home, I left my room to greet her and see how she was doing. I found her in the hallway and noticed that she seemed to be worried about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she nervously replied that she was fine and that she wanted to talk to me after dinner. She often asked me to listen to her troubles, and I imagined that something had recently happened to preoccupy her.
“Of course. You can come in anytime,” I replied, making sure to smile.
Katarina wasn’t her usual self during dinner—whatever was on her mind must have been rather serious. I prepared myself to lend her a shoulder to cry on and possibly make her feel better.
After dinner, as promised, she visited my room. She was wearing a serious expression on her face, and she didn’t even notice the tea and sweet treats I had prepared for her. Knowing her, this last part was most concerning, and it showed just how distressed she was.
When I took a better look at her to assess her situation, I noticed that she was spacing out. Worried about her, I asked if she was okay, and she looked back at me as if she’d just woken up. She then revealed the topic that she had come here to discuss: my confession of love to her.
I was honestly surprised to know that she even remembered that at all. It happened as I had been kidnapped by a Wielder of Darkness and I was left in a barely conscious state. I had revealed my feelings to Katarina, making it clear beyond any doubt that I loved her.
However, something—be it her shyness, be it her dullness when it came to romance—made her forget about it.
“I didn’t forget it, but I pushed the memory back into a corner of my mind,” she explained.
I understood this to mean that my love was nothing but a nuisance for her. After all, I knew that she saw me only as a brother, and as I disclosed my feelings, I was well aware that they were unlikely to be welcome. Nevertheless, having this truth relayed to me by Katarina in person was extremely painful…until she explained herself further.
Almost screaming, she explained that she was simply scared of love itself. I was once again surprised and confused by her words. She then said that she feared that love would lead her to doom, a notion that made absolutely no sense to me. Then again, since most other things that came out of my sister’s mouth made absolutely no sense either, I just silently kept listening. Katarina went on to elaborate, saying that her avoidance of love stemmed from a subconscious fear.
I blamed myself for not noticing that despite always being so close to her. To me she had been an always-smiling girl who didn’t have a fear in the world.
She lowered her head apologetically, and I patted it, thanking her for having honestly spoken to me and asking for forgiveness for how I never noticed how scared she was. She looked up at me, and I tried to smile at her, but maybe my expression wasn’t as reassuring as I thought.
After a moment of silence, she spoke again. “I didn’t realize this myself either. Not until now at least. But now that I do, I want to change that. I want to take my feelings, and yours too, in my own hands.”
How could I think that she’s a weak girl that I need to protect? Her honesty is commendable…
I wasn’t in pain anymore—I felt my chest fill up with warmth as my love for Katarina grew even stronger.
However, she awkwardly informed me that she had some pressing matters keeping her busy at the moment. I knew that she could only focus on one task at a time, and I could imagine that whatever was keeping her preoccupied had to do with her work at the Ministry.
She didn’t have to go so far as to mention that, but this hapless honesty was part of her charm, and I couldn’t help but smile at her. I told her that I understood and that she could rely on me if she needed help, and she seemed very happy about it.
“You’re always such a huge help,” she responded, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. Once again, I found myself smiling.
She wants to take my feelings into her own hands… After all those years of fearing that my love would forever be unrequited, that she would never look at me as a man, and that she would always forget my feelings as soon as I confessed to her, I never even dreamed that I would hear words like these coming from her.
Katarina quickly followed her tug at my heartstrings with another, even stronger one. “I was happy to hear that you love me. I could only be happy hearing something like that coming from a person as wonderful as you are,” she told me, blushing, before saying good night and literally running out of my room.
I stood there, dumbfounded, trying to process what I had just heard. I repeated what she had just said to myself, starting to wonder whether I was dreaming. I even tried pinching myself on the cheek just to be sure. It hurt. This was no dream—but it had to be. This could never happen in reality. I pinched my other cheek too. It also hurt. It was safe to assume that this was all real and that Katarina had told me that she was happy to hear me confess to her.
“Whaaat?!” I screamed, unable to contain myself.
“I-Is anything the matter, young master?” a servant, who was standing right outside my room, asked in surprise.
I nervously put a hand over my mouth to stop my excited shouting.
“I-I’m fine… I’m going to sleep now. Good night.”
I went to bed and pushed my face onto a pillow, trying to calm down…but to no avail. I was now rolling from side to side, unrestrained, as I had never done even as a child. I was so happy that I feared my heart could explode from the sheer joy.
She was happy to hear it… A person as wonderful as I am… And the way she blushed as she said those things…
I kept thinking back to that, still rolling in my bed almost until dawn.