{"id":3721,"date":"2025-10-16T17:22:10","date_gmt":"2025-10-16T17:22:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/novel.mdtaal-aminii.my.id\/?p=3721"},"modified":"2025-10-16T17:22:10","modified_gmt":"2025-10-16T17:22:10","slug":"v11c1p1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/novel.mdtaal-aminii.my.id\/?p=3721","title":{"rendered":"v11c1p1"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

There\u2019s only one thing I can say then…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI accept your apology.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI do too,\u201d Maria agreed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you,\u201d the princes responded in unison. They looked like proper members of the royal family, but in a different way than they usually did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, what did you make of it?\u201d Jeord asked, once again looking very concerned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wasn\u2019t sure of what he meant, but thankfully Alan followed up with an explanation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou heard the story from our father. It was dreadful, right? So, do you look down on us now, too?\u201d he asked. He looked to be genuinely in pain as he spoke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, that\u2019s why they looked so concerned… They\u2019re worried that we\u2019ll think less of them because of what their relatives did. I remember being asked the same thing after hearing about their granddad, the previous king…but my answer stays the same.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cJust as I said when I heard about your grandfather, you weren\u2019t the ones to do those heinous things. I know both of you well, and my opinion of you won\u2019t change just because of what I heard today,\u201d I answered while looking straight at them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The people I heard about today were some old royals I don\u2019t even know. The two people in front of me are my friends that I\u2019ve known for a long time. I\u2019d never even try to compare them.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI agree with Lady Katarina. The facts we learned today will not change the way we think of you,\u201d Maria joined in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jeord and Alan looked extremely relieved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you, both of you.\u201d Jeord spoke with a real, genuine smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThanks…\u201d Alan followed somewhat shyly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now they both looked like my friends again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

They had also come there to tell us that our carriage was indeed ready, and they walked us all the way there. Jeord escorted me, and his brother escorted Maria.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I looked at Alan, walking in front of me and Jeord, and wondered how things were going between him and Mary. According to the game\u2019s plot, if he was chosen as the character to pursue, he was supposed to fall in love with Maria while at the academy, but that never happened. If he wasn\u2019t, he ended up happily married to Mary…but those two didn\u2019t seem to be particularly in love with each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maybe he\u2019ll fall in love with Maria during the events of <\/em>FL2…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cKatarina,\u201d Jeord asked me out of the blue, \u201cdid you not forget your bag in the drawing room?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Much to my dismay and surprise, he was right. I had forgotten my very important bag which contained the very important Dark Covenant.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt would seem so…\u201d I replied sadly, and Alan gave me a look that felt like a thousand exasperated sighs compressed together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was released from all that tension and I just kind of…forgot…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLet\u2019s go to retrieve it then. Wait for us at the carriage, Alan, Maria,\u201d Jeord said, and we went back to the drawing room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I said that I would go by myself, since forgetting the bag was entirely my fault, but Jeord insisted on escorting me and walked alongside me all the way back there with a smile. Thankfully, my bag was still where I\u2019d left it, and the Dark Covenant was still inside it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s here! Thank you for coming with me,\u201d I spoke, relieved.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOh, don\u2019t mention it. It was on purpose, after all,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Huh? On purpose…?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The smile on Jeord\u2019s face now seemed to hide some deeper meaning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI had noticed that you had forgotten your bag, but I said nothing so that I could spend a little time alone with you,\u201d he explained.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whoa! What a mastermind! <\/em>I thought, with my jaw literally open from the surprise.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd also,\u201d he continued with a giggle, \u201cthank you for your words earlier. I expected that you would be understanding even after hearing those dreadful tales, but the way you spoke made me truly happy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He looked happy too\u2014just a normal smile with no dark undertones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Oh, so he just wanted to thank me for that?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019m afraid I fell in even deeper love with you,\u201d he added before swiftly moving dangerously close to me and grasping my hips.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGah?!\u201d was the only sound I managed to make. Jeord didn\u2019t seem to be bothered by it, and kept on staring at me with his sparkly, princely smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou are the best fianc\u00e9e a man could wish for. I want to marry you as soon as possible.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I could feel my face getting warmer and warmer…and then I remembered what my father had told me not long ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have to think about my own feelings… But…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPrince Jeord, I… Well…\u201d I started speaking, grasping for words.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAre you scared?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat?\u201d I asked back, confused. The aforementioned sparkly smile had disappeared from Jeord\u2019s face, and now he looked somewhat melancholic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen I approach you like this, does it scare you? The way you draw back from me… It took me a while to realize, but is it fear that moves you so? It is, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I didn\u2019t know what to say. Fear… That word made something move deep inside my heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seeing my reaction\u2014or rather, lack thereof, Jeord spoke again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt seems that I was right. I was scaring you… I\u2019m sorry for not realizing this sooner.\u201d He looked like he was on the verge of tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The words of the young man I\u2019d met earlier that day echoed through my head. I was hurting Jeord. I needed to do something. I mustered up my courage and tried to explain what I\u2019d kept hidden inside my heart for so long.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, I\u2019m not scared. Well, I am…but not<\/em> of you. I\u2019m…scared of falling in love.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was the first time I\u2019d ever revealed this to anyone, and Jeord looked shocked by the revelation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No wonder he\u2019s shocked. It probably doesn\u2019t make sense to him, but it\u2019s the truth.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I realized that I had reincarnated into Katarina Claes, I also knew that the reason behind her doom was love. She fell in love with Jeord, and the jealousy of seeing him love another girl\u2014the protagonist, that is\u2014led her to catastrophic results.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I knew that Katarina Claes couldn\u2019t fall in love. I knew that I<\/em> couldn\u2019t fall in love. If I did, I risked going mad because of it, and that would be the end for me. Even before I understood these feelings, they were subconsciously keeping me from loving anyway. I could help others find love, but I couldn\u2019t do the same thing myself. I wasn\u2019t allowed to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite all this, however, Jeord had confessed his love to me. I\u2019d had feelings for him since before regaining the memories of my past life, but the fear of doom kept me from reciprocating. That was why I had tried to forget about Jeord\u2019s confession, eventually succeeding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was scared of falling in love, and, as a result, I ended up hurting Jeord. It was just as that man had told me: I was despicable. I had run away for long enough, and now it was time to be honest with Jeord. Seeing him so saddened was what gave me the resolve to speak from the heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI have always worried that I would be doomed if I ever fell in love,\u201d I admitted. Jeord looked surprised, but he let me go on. \u201cI still am. That is why I kept dodging your feelings. I\u2019m really sorry.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, I couldn\u2019t talk about Fortune Lover<\/em>, but my abstract explanation seemed to be good enough for Jeord.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you for being open with me. I am very relieved to know that you were not simply scared of me,\u201d he told me with a smile. \u201cHowever, I wish there was a way to relieve you of this fear. Having you scared of romance would make things quite difficult.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He was right. Despite all that happened, even despite all that my father had told me, I ended up giving in to fear. The thought that love would destroy me took precedence over everything else. But now that Jeord had helped me realize why I couldn\u2019t keep being so weak, I thought that I wanted to change.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI\u2019ve kept my eyes shut because of fear all this time, but I won\u2019t do so anymore. I want to take my feelings in my own hands…and yours too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jeord\u2019s face as he listened to me was now so happy that I suddenly felt embarrassed. Even if I could have worked a bit more on the delivery, at least I\u2019d finally thought and spoken about my feelings, like father had encouraged me to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That being said, there was still a problem. Doom was still there, waiting for me, and it was closer than ever. Being honest about my feelings would do me no good if I were dead, and I was the type of person who could only concentrate on one thing at a time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI-I\u2019m sorry if this sounds like I\u2019m taking back what I just said, but I can\u2019t accept your feelings right now<\/em>. I\u2019m currently struggling with an urgent problem, you see, and until I\u2019m done with that I don\u2019t really have, you know…the mental capacity…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I felt a bit bad about letting Jeord down while he looked so happy, but he just grinned, unsurprised.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou have looked very concerned since you started working at the Magical Ministry. Don\u2019t worry. I will wait. I have waited long enough that a little more time will hardly make a difference. But if you ever need some support, please do rely on me,\u201d he declared, much to my relief.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was also honestly surprised that he\u2019d noticed how concerned I\u2019d been since starting my job at the Ministry. He\u2019d even noticed how frightened I was, even though he had guessed the wrong reason for it. Jeord was always looking out for me, and he always noticed when something was wrong.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We had known each other since I was eight years old, and he was always there when I needed him. I didn\u2019t understand my feelings completely yet, and I was still fearful and bewildered. But I knew that Jeord was very important to me. As embarrassing as it was, I wanted to tell him about how I really felt. Once again, I gathered my courage and started speaking.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLove still leaves me confused, and a bit scared, but when you said that you loved me, that made me very, very happy. I could only be happy hearing something like that coming from a person as wonderful as you are.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jeord was a handsome, talented, and kind prince. How could I not<\/em> be happy? But I had been so scared that I had tried to forget that happiness for the longest time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At this point, the piled-up embarrassment from the whole conversation got to me, and I couldn\u2019t stand it anymore. I ran away from the drawing room, leaving Jeord behind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I really need to do something about my philophobia…and possibly about the awkwardness that comes with it too.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My face felt like it was burning, and I imagined it was bright red. Thankfully, since I\u2019d sprinted all the way to the carriage, Maria and Alan thought that I was blushing because of the exertion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When Alan asked where his brother had gone, I lied and told him that he had to leave because of an urgent matter. After all that I\u2019d told Jeord that day, just being in the same room as him would kill me from sheer embarrassment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maria and I rode on the carriage and left the castle to go back to the Ministry.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jeord\u2019s words had helped me realize my true feelings…but there was one more person that I had to relay them to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Will I manage to do it? Any more awkwardness today and I think I\u2019m going to pass out…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My father, Orwen Stuart, King of Sorci\u00e9, summoned me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He told me that he would be speaking with my fianc\u00e9e, Katarina Claes, and the Wielder of Light, Maria Campbell, about the struggle for the crown and how this led to the spread of Dark Magic.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I myself had only learned of these facts recently, as they had happened when I was still too young to have any memories of them. I remember being surprised, ashamed on behalf of the whole royal family, and sorry toward Katarina.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have always respected my father\u2019s efforts to be a fair ruler, and, as a prince, I believed that what he was going to do was worthy of praise. As a man, however, the matter was not quite as straightforward. My fear was that upon learning the shameful past of my relatives, Katarina would start thinking less of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Previously, I had told her that people had died as a result of royal infighting. I feared that would be enough to warrant her distrust, but instead she replied that, no matter how related we were, she knew that the previous king and I were different people, and that the actions of the former would not inform her opinion on the latter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Her words had made me happy upon hearing them and hopeful now\u2014hopeful that she would react in the same way after listening to father\u2019s recounting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But would she? That story was one covered in blood. I would certainly start seeing someone in a different light, if only slightly so, after learning that their relatives had committed such horrible deeds. This thought, in turn, made me wince.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While I waited for my father to end his conversation with the two girls, time seemed to slow down to a painful extent. As soon as we saw him leave the room, my brother Alan and I quickly made our way toward Katarina and Maria.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Never before in my life had I been so nervous doing something so simple as knocking on a door. When Katarina\u2019s familiar voice replied, we walked inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The girls were talking to each other, and, when they eventually noticed that it was us who had entered the room, they seemed surprised.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I smiled as I always did and greeted them, ready to fulfill my duty as a royal. I had to apologize, like my father had already done, for the results of my relatives\u2019 fight for succession. Alan, who was of the same mind on this issue, lowered his head alongside mine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Katarina quickly accepted our apology, and I found myself enamored with the resolve she was showing despite the circumstances. My brother and I thanked her for her kindness, and then I asked her about what I had been the most concerned about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, what did you make of it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After I spoke, Alan did too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou heard the story from our father. It was dreadful, right? So, do you look down on us too now?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Silence fell onto the room, and I could not bring myself to look Katarina in the face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She told us that her opinion of us would never change because of the actions of somebody else. Her eyes showed no hint of lying, nor, as I had worried, hate toward us. Katarina really was the kind of woman I believed her to be.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Maria followed, agreeing with my fianc\u00e9e and furthering my relief. We thanked both of them and walked them to the carriage that was to take them home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I prepared to escort Katarina for the first time in a while, and I noticed that she had forgotten her bag. I could have taken it for her, but I realized that this could give me an opportunity to be alone with her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My plan worked out, and when she thanked me for coming back all the way with her to retrieve her forgotten bag, I revealed that I had kept quiet about it on purpose. She seemed very surprised\u2014a girl as innocent as her would probably never think of doing something like that. Her confused expression as she heard of my plan was lovely as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I thanked her again for accepting our apology, and her confusion seemed to disappear. She probably thought that I had wanted to be alone with her to simply state my gratitude again. That was one misunderstanding that I could not accept, so I moved closer to her, grabbing her sides. I told her that I wanted to marry her as soon as possible, and her face flushed. My real intentions had gotten through to her, but, much to my dismay, she started awkwardly mumbling as if to find an excuse to get away from me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The thought had been on my mind for a very long time, and I finally confronted her about it. I asked her whether she was scared of me. Since I had confessed my love to her, approaching her like this would always lead to similar reactions. At first, I was happy that she had finally started seeing the advances I made toward her as such, but lately I had started to notice the look of fear that appeared on her face every single time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had tried to ignore that reality for a long time, but it was time to confirm my apprehensions. If she were scared of me, I would have to accept her and her fears all the same, just as she had accepted me after hearing the truth about the history of my family. With that said, her answer could very well be devastating for me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even before she answered, her silence informed me that my question had hit the mark. As I realized this, my heart burnt with pain. I must have looked pitiful, almost crying, as I apologized for being so slow to notice her fear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But then she spoke again. She told me that she wasn\u2019t scared of me<\/em>. She was scared of love itself<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It was now my turn to be surprised. Katarina rarely ever showed any fear to begin with, and she often enjoyed reading romance novels. For the longest time, I had believed that she was simply too slow to understand and too shy to act when it came to love, much like her adoptive brother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

However, she kept talking. This time, she told me that she feared that falling in love could lead her to her doom. I did not understand how those two things could ever possibly be related, but she looked extremely serious, and I kept listening. She explained her fears to me, and while I was still very confused about her motivations, I was relieved to hear that she was not scared of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The issue that remained was how to fix this fear of hers, as it was effectively keeping me from romancing her. Just as I stated this, her response made me so happy that I could not keep a straight face. She told me that she wanted to take her feelings\u2014as well as mine\u2014in her own hands.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Despite being engaged to each other, my love for Katarina had been unrequited for a very long time. At first she did not understand my feelings, and after I clearly stated them for her, she seemed to forget about them. Nothing in the world could make me happier than if she was ready to accept them. It felt as if my love was going to be accepted for the first time, however slightly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was reveling in happiness, almost in awe, when Katarina told me something else\u2014that she was now facing a personal hurdle that would temporarily keep her from focusing on romance. I remembered that she had seemed concerned about something since she had started her job at the Magical Ministry, just as she had when she had just joined the Academy of Magic. I knew that she was keeping some kind of secret from all of us, but I would not force her to speak about it if she did not want to. All that I cared about was always being ready to help her in any way I could.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fact that she had spoken with me about this other concern of hers also made me happy, and I told her with a smile that I would gladly wait for her issues to be over. In response, she thanked me with a look of relief on her face. As for me, I was ready to wait longer. More importantly, what mattered to me was that Katarina had shared her true feelings with me. I could feel the warmth building up in my chest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, all of a sudden, Katarina gave me another preoccupied look. Before I could even ask her what was wrong, she told me about how my confession to her had made her happy. As soon as she was done speaking, she sprinted out of the room, her face now bright red.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was left there by myself, too shocked to move. Her words kept echoing in my head. I used to think that her reactions to me meant that she disliked me, or even that she feared me. I had assumed that to her, my confession of love had been a surprising thing but not a pleasant one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201c\u2018I could only be happy hearing something like that coming from a person as wonderful as you are…\u2019\u201d I repeated to myself, as if to make sure that I had not merely dreamed it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I felt feverish, and I must have been so red in the face that one could see steam coming off it. I had loved her for so long. She was the special girl who had brought color into my boring gray life. Even after we grew into adults, this never changed. Thanks to her, I was able to experience emotions that I did not know I possessed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On this day, I found out that too much happiness made me freeze in place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had to insist that I was fine a few times to convince Maria that my red face wasn\u2019t a problem, and by the time she had stopped worrying, our carriage had already reached the Ministry. The workday was also just about over.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cyrus and Larna came to see us and asked about our summons, so we told them about how we\u2019d shown the king the covenants and promised to help him. We didn\u2019t tell them about the story of how Dark Magic spread though. Maria and I had decided that we would keep it a secret, even if it was possible that our two superiors already knew about it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After talking for a short bit, it was time for everyone to leave and go home. I parted ways with Maria and headed toward the usual carriage for the Claes mansion. Sora walked me all the way there, as he always did\u2014he claimed that it was just a meaningless habit for him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While I was walking with my colleague, I thought back to Jeord and the conversation we\u2019d had earlier. Just thinking about it was enough to make me blush again… I really needed to get used to romance at least a little bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Even in my past life, despite reaching high school, I\u2019d never fallen in love with anyone. Maybe it would have happened eventually, but I died before that could happen. And now, in my new life, I\u2019ve been subconsciously avoiding love out of fear, my only knowledge of it coming from romance novels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In both lives, previous and current ones, none of the girls I was friends with seemed particularly interested in love either, so we never chatted about that sort of thing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I must know someone who\u2019s interested in that kind of thing…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I looked to my side and saw Sora, who had traveled through many countries enjoying the highs and lows of life. Surely, he\u2019d had a relationship or two. Or ten.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSay, Sora, how many girlfriends have you had so far?\u201d I asked him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHuh? What\u2019s this all of a sudden?\u201d he replied, surprised by my sudden question.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wait, we had pretty much this same conversation when I wanted to learn about escaping prison cells…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI just wanted to, you know, learn more about romance. But pretty much none of my other friends have ever had girlfriends or boyfriends. What about you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGo guess what\u2019s going through her head this time…\u201d he mumbled with a sigh, before replying to me, \u201cI\u2019ve had a few, yeah.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI knew it! Girls can\u2019t look past a guy as attractive as you, huh!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sora fell silent for a moment. \u201cAttractive?\u201d he repeated to himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd how did you end up being boyfriend and girlfriend? Was it, like, fate that brought you together?\u201d I asked excitedly, thinking of how fateful all encounters were in the romance novels I read.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNothing like that,\u201d he replied, kind of weirded out. \u201cWe\u2019d just somehow end up dating and then break up when things stopped working out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This is the least romantic answer possible…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat?! Are you serious?! Don\u2019t you date because you love each other?! And isn\u2019t breaking up something you do while crying and only because life has been so cruel in splitting you two apart?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou really read too many romance novels. Real life doesn\u2019t work that way,\u201d he sighed, looking at me with pity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

That can\u2019t be true. I know that romance novels exaggerate things a little bit, but those things do happen in real life…right? Why\u2019s he looking at me like that?!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cB-But you do love each other, don\u2019t you? And breaking up is still painful, isn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI just dated girls that I kind of liked, and then we\u2019d naturally drift apart with no fuss,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was shocked by his definition of romance. I had thought that love and dating were sacred things that one had to put a lot of thought into.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWell,\u201d he then continued, seeing my disappointed reaction, \u201cthat could be just me though. Maybe some couples are just like the ones in your romance novels.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sora had always been living on the outskirts of society, so maybe his love life had been unusual as well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, did that ever happen to you? Did you ever date a girl because you loved her?\u201d I asked, and he started staring at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was puzzling over whether that look was meant as a yes<\/em>-stare or a no<\/em>-stare, but before I could be certain, Sora sighed again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI never understood that kind of thing until recently,\u201d he revealed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat kind of thing?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLove and such.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, does that mean that…Sora also has no experience with real romance? He\u2019s just like Keith was originally supposed to be in the game then! He\u2019s fooled around with a lot of girls, but he doesn\u2019t know anything about true love!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo we\u2019re in the same boat. Neither of us knows anything about love.\u201d I was happy to have someone to share my predicament with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon\u2019t you force people onto your boat. I said until recently<\/em>. I understand it better now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If he understands it now…did he fall in love?! I thought he wasn\u2019t that attracted to Maria, but I must\u2019ve been wrong!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhen did you fall in love with Maria?! I didn\u2019t notice at all!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cHuh? What\u2019s Campbell got to do with anything?\u201d he asked, obviously confused.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But he\u2019s a character from FL2… He\u2019s supposed to fall in love with her…<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat?! It\u2019s not her? Who is it then?\u201d I inquired.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After staring at me silently for a second, he flicked my forehead with his finger.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOuch! What are you doing?!\u201d I shouted. The pain in my forehead was enough to make me mad at him. Instead of addressing that, Sora looked away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat\u2019s even the point in learning about romance?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI want to learn more so that I can experience it myself t\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t get ready for romance just by learning about it from other people!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhat? Really?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLet me give you some advice, since I have more experience than you. You can\u2019t learn about romance, and you can\u2019t learn about love. One day, you just fall in love and realize you can\u2019t fight your own feelings, and that\u2019s it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThat sounds so romantic!\u201d I shrieked, impressed by Sora\u2019s wonderful advice, and tried to jump toward him to express my deep respect with a hug…but he stopped me by pushing my head away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Looking from between his fingers, I could see that he was blushing. Maybe he was embarrassed because he\u2019d said something so emotional, just like what had happened to me with Jeord.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He then dragged me to the carriage and basically threw me into it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On my way back home, I thought some more about Sora\u2019s words about love, realizing that they sounded very true…and also very much like the lyrics to some generic pop love song from my previous world.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You can\u2019t learn about love… But will I ever fall in love? I can\u2019t even imagine that right now.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

At least I had decided to face Jeord\u2019s feelings for me, and I\u2019d even told him about it. I also had to do the same with Keith. I knew that the more I waited, the more difficult it would be to bring it up, so I made up my mind to do it as soon as I reached home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Just thinking about it is so embarrassing I can feel my face boiling… I have to do my best!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605<\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I, Sora Smith, walked back to the dormitory, I was fanning my head as hard as I could, hoping that it would cool down. As usual, it was her<\/em> fault\u2014that dense Katarina Claes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

She started asking me about romance and love out of the blue. She\u2019d always been so shy (and dense) about this kind of thing that she wouldn\u2019t even talk about love when speaking of romance novels, so her question surprised me so much that I just ended up replying honestly. To top it all off, I even started spouting nonsense about how you can\u2019t learn about love and this and that. I wished I could disappear from the face of the earth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wasn\u2019t always like this. I used to be able to breeze through life without getting attached to anything. It all changed when I met her. She just had a way of messing me up and forcing me to do things at her pace. I was scared that her dumb trust and naivety had also infected me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If somebody had told me I\u2019d find myself having feelings this strong for a girl, I wouldn\u2019t have believed them. I had my fair share of experience with girls, and romance had been a fun game for me… But now everything was different. I got excited just because she called me attractive and my heart started racing when she stared into my eyes. I was acting like a kid who\u2019d never slept with a woman before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s happened to me?<\/em> I asked myself, and the worst part was that, whatever had happened, I was enjoying it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605\u2605<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My carriage eventually reached home. Normally, at this point I would only have to eat dinner and go to bed\u2014lovely, easy tasks. This time, however, I had something else that I needed to get done.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I gathered my courage and entered the manor, starting to walk to my room when, in the middle of a hallway, I ran into Keith.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWelcome back… Is anything the matter? You are making quite the weird face,\u201d he greeted me, noticing how nervous I was.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt\u2019s nothing! Don\u2019t worry! By the way, there\u2019s something that I want to talk to you about. Can I come to your room after dinner?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cOf course. You can come in anytime,\u201d he immediately replied with a smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He probably thought that I wanted to vent to him about something, as I had previously done many a time. I was grateful for this misunderstanding, since I didn\u2019t want to tell him what I wanted to talk about yet. That would make for one awkward dinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Having set that up, I went back to my room and prepared for my meal. I was so nervous that I couldn\u2019t eat as much as usual, and this ended up worrying Keith even more… Maybe I shouldn\u2019t have waited until after dinner after all.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After we were done eating, I went to Keith\u2019s room.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo, what did you want to talk about?\u201d he asked. He looked ready to help me let off some steam, and I felt blessed to have such a good brother. He was always there to comfort me through hard times and to help me solve my problems.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I think about it, I really owe a lot to him. Nah, I don\u2019t even need to think about it.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Keith and Jeord were both incredibly talented, handsome, and kind men. I couldn\u2019t get my head around why they would fall in love with me. I knew both of them well enough to tell that they wouldn\u2019t confess their love just as a prank or joke, but this only made it more confusing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Why me?!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I wasn\u2019t trying to be self-deprecating or modest. I just thought that I was a pretty average girl. I didn\u2019t have any particular talent and I wasn\u2019t exceptionally beautiful. The only remarkable thing about me was the rank of my family, which I had in common with the Katarina from the game. Unlike her, however, I had a lot of wonderful, smart, kind, and beautiful female friends\u2014first and foremost, Maria. Both Jeord and Keith had a lot of interactions with these friends of mine, but instead of falling in love with them, they somehow ended up choosing me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Could it be that they\u2019re so used to beautiful girls that they grew bored of them and wanted someone a bit plainer for variety\u2019s sake? Or maybe they\u2019re just into villainess faces? To each their own, I guess.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBig Sister? Is anything wrong?\u201d Keith worriedly asked me, bringing me out of my train of thought and back down to earth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can\u2019t make him worry even more! I\u2019m here to tell him about my feelings and such!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cKeith…\u201d I began, mustering up all of my courage, \u201cit\u2019s about when you confessed to me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYou didn\u2019t forget about that?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seeing his surprise made me feel sorry for him. He thought I\u2019d forgotten about it…and, well, I had. Until today. I had forced myself to forget about it. I took a deep breath and spoke.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI didn\u2019t forget it, but I pushed the memory back into a corner of my mind,\u201d I continued.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo my feelings were a nuisance,\u201d Keith murmured, and his face grew sadder and more tense.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019m hurting him again… That\u2019s not what I want to do!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo! I\u2019ve never thought that for a second. It\u2019s just that I\u2019m scared of romance, and I was running away from it without even realizing it,\u201d I explained, raising my voice almost to the point of shouting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cScared of romance?\u201d he asked, his eyes wide open.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes. I\u2019ve always thought that falling in love would lead me to my doom. That\u2019s why. I was scared, but I never realized it, and just kept avoiding romance altogether, trying to forget about things like your confession. I\u2019m sorry I did this to you after you told me about how you felt.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I lowered my head, and he started gently patting it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cThank you for telling me honestly. And I\u2019m sorry for not realizing that you felt that way,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I looked up and saw that he was awkwardly smiling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No… That\u2019s not how I want to make him feel!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo, wait! I didn\u2019t realize this myself either. Not until now at least. But now that I do, I want to change that,\u201d I declared, looking him in the eye, \u201cI want to take my feelings, and yours too, in my own hands.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cBig Sis…\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now he was really smiling. I was relieved to see that, but I knew that even though I\u2019d managed to bring up this very difficult topic, I still had something left to say.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There\u2019s only one thing I can say then… \u201cI accept your apology.\u201d \u201cI do too,\u201d Maria agreed. \u201cThank you,\u201d the princes responded in unison. They looked like proper members of the royal family, but in a different way than they usually did. \u201cSo, what did you make of it?\u201d Jeord asked, once again looking very […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3721","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-tak-berkategori"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/novel.mdtaal-aminii.my.id\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3721","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/novel.mdtaal-aminii.my.id\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/novel.mdtaal-aminii.my.id\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/novel.mdtaal-aminii.my.id\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/novel.mdtaal-aminii.my.id\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3721"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/novel.mdtaal-aminii.my.id\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3721\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3722,"href":"https:\/\/novel.mdtaal-aminii.my.id\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3721\/revisions\/3722"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/novel.mdtaal-aminii.my.id\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3721"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/novel.mdtaal-aminii.my.id\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3721"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/novel.mdtaal-aminii.my.id\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3721"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}