of experience<\/em>, am I right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The crab stood still for a moment, staring at the young man, who awkwardly stared back with a confused frown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou, uh\u2026 you alright there, Balthazar?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, sure. No, never mind that. I was just\u2026 thinking.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAlright, if you say so.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSay, Rye, I was wondering the other day,\u201d Balthazar started, trying to sound nonchalant, \u201cwhere exactly are you from?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, that\u2019s curious,\u201d Rye said, raising both eyebrows. \u201cNobody usually asks me that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cReally? And that\u2019s not odd to you? As far as I understand, you humans are all pretty nosy about each other\u2019s lives.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHmm, I don\u2019t know. Not really? I just figured that\u2019s the custom in these parts.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo you\u2019re not from around here?\u201d the crab insisted, growing more curious.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cUh, no, not exactly,\u201d the increasingly uncomfortable adventurer responded. \u201cI\u2019m from very far away, a whole different place from this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLike what? A different world?\u201d Balthazar inquired, determined to get a reaction out of the young man.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow did you know that?\u201d Rye apprehensively asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m a very resourceful merchant. I got my\u2026 sources. Don\u2019t worry, I\u2019m just trying to learn more about my baker\u2019s suitor.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, alright,\u201d the other conceded, relaxing slightly. \u201cYes, I was from another world, very different from this one. Then one day woke up here, found out there were many others like me, \u2018adventurers\u2019 too, and have been just going along with it, trying to make it out here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd you all got some strange text in your eyes that tells you about levels and stats, don\u2019t you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The author’s narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cY-yes\u2026 how do you know about that? I was under the impression no one from this world would know or understand any of that. That it was something for just us adventurers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAh, you know how it is. You spend all day dealing with your kind, and you end up picking up a thing or two. Any idea why you all get those special things? What\u2019s the purpose?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNot really.\u201d Rye shrugged. \u201cWe\u2019re basically given the choice to come here, start over, given the task of improving and gaining levels, but beyond that, we\u2019re kind of left in the dark. Many think there\u2019s some kind of reward, riches, power, maybe even divinity at the end of it all. But I don\u2019t really know about any of that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWho gave you that choice anyway?\u201d the very intrigued crab asked. \u201cHow did you end up in this world in the first place?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m not really sure,\u201d a hesitant Rye said. \u201cI don\u2019t think anyone really knows who that voice was, just that the alternative wasn\u2019t good. I\u2026 I don\u2019t remember well what happened before. It\u2019s all a bit hazy, and feels like a lifetime ago. I was in my world. Then something happened. Something not good. And then\u2026 here I was, on a beach, with a scroll.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The adventurer rubbed his temple with his fingers, like someone straining to think. \u201cSorry, it\u2019s always really hard trying to remember anything from before, for some reason.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI got more questions. You said something about a\u2014\u201c<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Balthazar, what were we talking about exactly?\u201d Rye said, straining his eyes with discomfort. \u201cEither way, I really need to get going now. I\u2019ve always heard it was better for everyone if we don\u2019t talk about any of this stuff with the locals, so maybe let\u2019s leave it at that. I\u2019ll catch you later.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI just\u2014\u201d Balthazar started, but the archer was already up and halfway to the exit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The golden crab stood alone on his trading post, thoughts ricocheting around in his shell.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Someone was definitely behind the arrival of all those adventurers into that world, and they didn\u2019t seem too keen on anyone knowing how or why. Prodding Rye for information did not seem to have gone well, who could say what would happen with other, less receptive adventurers? Everyone else who was originally from that world, like himself or Madeleine, would know even less, apparently by design, so there wasn\u2019t much point in risking that subject, especially given the warning from the enchantress about the consequences of asking too many inconvenient questions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n But what did any of this have to do with a humble crab who just wanted to live a quiet life at his pond?<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar did not know the answers to any of that, but at least he found comfort in knowing he had scones.<\/p>\n\n\n\n ***<\/p>\n\n\n\n Holding a slice of custard pie in his silver pincer, Balthazar rejoiced at its flavor from behind a large crate. The day had been busy with adventurers going back and forth, not giving him a break to enjoy a snack.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, sweet Madeleine, you did it again,\u201d he said, eyes closed into a dreamlike state. \u201cSimply delicious.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnybody home?\u201d a young voice said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar rolled his eyes open, and his smile turned into a frown. Just one moment of solitude was apparently too much to ask.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, here I am,\u201d the crab said after quickly swallowing and tossing the rest of his slice into the hidden basket behind the crate. He was willing to sell almost anything standing on that platform, except for the contents of that basket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHey there, Balthazar!\u201d a young adventurer greeted, with a smile and a wave.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, hey there\u2026\u201d The merchant hesitated. He was sure he knew the boy standing in front of him wearing average armor, with a generic face, common brown eyes, and a typical haircut. He just couldn\u2019t recall where from. Being a level 6 wasn\u2019t exactly a distinctive detail either.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s Cletus,\u201d the client said, readjusting the huge sack he was carrying over his shoulder. \u201cRemember me? I\u2019ve been here to trade with you probably a dozen times by now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, right, right, of course! Come in, come in,\u201d Balthazar hurriedly said, both of them stepping closer to each other. \u201cOf course I remember you. You\u2019re the one who sold me that nice ingot of silver that one time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The crab still had no recollection of ever asking for his name, despite being confident the kid had probably told it to him before. Unfortunately, Balthazar tended to not get too attached to his clients, on account of them having the bad habit of dying all the time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, I did,\u201d Cletus responded with a proud smile, letting the heavy sack drop from his shoulder and onto the ground. \u201cI still remember the day I got that. One of my first bandit ambushes. There were four of them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAlright, kid, no need to reminisce, we remember,\u201d Balthazar said, despite not remembering the story in the slightest. \u201cLet\u2019s talk about today instead, shall we?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, sure,\u201d the other said, perking up. \u201cI came across a whole bandit hideout. The place was crawling with them!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEh, you sure bump into a lot of bandits in your travels, don\u2019t you? Are you sure that\u2019s not intentional?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI had to take out the lookouts on the watchtowers with my bow first,\u201d the boy continued, apparently not hearing a word of what the crab said. \u201cThen I made it inside the outer walls and dispatched another four, at least. But once I made it inside the building, damn, I went through at least a dozen more. It was rough! I had to slowly sneak my way through, taking them all down one by one. By the end, I took out at least sixteen!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cVery impressive, son,\u201d Balthazar said, making little effort to hide his boredom. \u201cI\u2019m sure so many bandits mean a whole lot of loot. You got anything good for me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh yes,\u201d Cletus responded with growing excitement. \u201cThere was so much gear I couldn\u2019t really carry it all, so most of it I had to leave on them.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The adventurer untied the large sack and let it unfold, revealing its contents. A pile of assorted shoes, boots, sandals, and other footwear crumbled in front of them. \u201cI\u2019m open to selling them all to you. I don\u2019t have time to go up to Ardville.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar stared at the pile of shoes in front of him, slack-jawed, slowly counting them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cKid\u2026 there are sixteen pairs of shoes here. Did you only<\/em> loot their shoes? Nothing else?!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cErr\u2026 yes?\u201d Cletus answered sheepishly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cJust\u2026 why?\u201d the incredulous crab asked. \u201cI\u2019m sure there was lots of other loot around the place, and even on the bandits themselves. Hell, there would have probably been lighter parts of their gear you could have taken that would be worth more than their damn boots!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cUh\u2026 Yes, I guess you\u2019re right,\u201d the young man said, glancing to the side while grasping his elbow. \u201cBut, I don\u2019t know, I guess I just\u2026 took their shoes instead.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar’s face scrunched up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou didn\u2019t take a single necklace, or even ring, but somehow you found the time to strip each and every one of those bandits of their shoes? You do realize that\u2019s very weird, right?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2026 can I just please get some money for those and go?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The crab stared at the boy for a moment, unsure if he wanted to think any further on the subject.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201c64 gold for the lot,\u201d Balthazar finally said, deciding it was probably for the best to not delve any deeper into it. \u201cI will not haggle, just take it, kid.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, that\u2019s fine. I\u2019ll take that, please. Thank you,\u201d Cletus quickly said, still avoiding eye contact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The merchant grabbed his new money bag that was tightly tied to the side of his shell and retrieved the money to pay the embarrassed boy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With two quick and clumsy bows of his head, the adventurer rapidly made his way back out, avoiding the crab\u2019s gaze the entire time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNot sure if I even want to know what kind of strange world are all these weirdos coming from,\u201d he said, shaking his shell as he walked back and forth, throwing the shoes into a sorting crate one by one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As Balthazar picked up a shoe and a sandal, a quiet cough came from the road entrance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A short man in a long green gown stepped into the trading post, two guards in tow.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes? Looking for something?\u201d the merchant asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, I am looking for Mr. Balthazar,\u201d the man said in a slow and monotone voice. \u201cPlease let him know the local tax inspector would like to speak to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar\u2019s eyes went wide, as his right claw snapped the sandal in two, and the other shoe dropped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar had spent a great deal of time reading books. Some were about geography, some about history, and some were even bestiaries. But out of all his readings, all the many creatures of myth, horrifying legends and stories, one creature always stood out to him as the most terrifying: the taxman.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Half man, half tax collector, the despicable being now stood mere steps away from the crab, and he felt his blood run cold. Which was fairly normal, considering crustaceans are cold-blooded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He wore a long green gown that reached down to his ankles, a hat with square edges, and a thin chain around his neck from which a thick badge of solid gold hung. His face was old and his cheeks saggy, like two droopy bags jiggling at every turn of his head. A pair of tiny round glasses sat precariously on the tip of his nose, far lower than his eye level, leading to him constantly having to tilt his head up to look through the lenses.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The two Ardville guards stood straight behind him, their spears firmly held vertically against the sides of their yellow dyed leather armor, as the much shorter man leisurely perused the titles of the books on a nearby shelf, hands behind his back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar slowly peered through his monocle at the abominable creature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n [Level 15 Tax Inspector]<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell?\u201d the tax inspector said, glancing at Balthazar. \u201cI\u2019d like to speak with the merchant responsible for this establishment. Go fetch him, will you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2026 I\u2019m him. The merchant is me. I\u2019m Balthazar,\u201d the crab said, hesitation taking hold of him, faced with his greatest of foes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re Balthazar?\u201d The short man asked, taking a few steps closer and giving the merchant a better look through his glasses. \u201cGoodness! You\u2019re a giant crab! That is certainly\u2026 irregular. But ultimately meaningless, I suppose. Laws are laws. For everyone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cUh\u2026 you came looking for me but you didn\u2019t know I was a crab, Mr\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAbernathy,\u201d the other answered. \u201cAnd no, I\u2019m afraid the report made on your activities did not include that fact.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar perked one eye stalk up in curiosity. \u201cA report? On me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes. It would seem another citizen, Mr. Antoine, has filed a report on your unlicensed mercantile activities here, concerned you were dodging our fair tax on any business.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOf course it had to be him,\u201d the crab muttered with spite, before returning to a normal voice. \u201cI\u2019m surprised the accuser didn\u2019t come along after reporting me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, do not misunderstand my words. The report was not filed today.\u201d Abernathy pulled a small notebook out of his waist pouch and began paging through it. \u201cIn fact, it was made a little over a month ago. But, as is the nature of this hard work, sometimes bureaucracy means there is a waiting list.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The man lazily waved a hand up, making Balthazar doubt hard work was something he was ever familiar with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRegardless,\u201d the man said, lifting his face from the book, his eyes slowly accompanying the movement a second later, \u201cwe are here to talk about you, Mr. Balthazar. It has come to my attention that you have been running a business operation out of this roadside pond. Buying, selling, and trading goods to adventurers. All of this without a permit, a license, proper regulation, and most importantly, without paying your due taxes. What do you have to say for yourself?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar considered whether it would be too late to feign ignorance and revert to speaking crab only. He quickly concluded that would not help him much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI, uh\u2026 wasn\u2019t aware there were taxes on what I\u2019m doing here,\u201d the crab said, his mind racing for a way out of his predicament.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPlease, Mr. Balthazar, that excuse won\u2019t work, not even for a crab. You seem to have no trouble grasping the concepts of trade and marketing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, what is supposed to happen here?\u201d the apprehensive merchant asked, eyeing the two guards behind the inspector.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBefore we can proceed any further, an inspection of your establishment must be conducted. To evaluate the dimension of your business, your profits, as well as anything that might be out of order.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar did not like the idea of some inspector going through his place and his things. Not one bit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A thought occurred to him. It was a long shot, given what he had learned about his Charisma and the inspector being five levels higher than him, with who knew what level of Intelligence, but he had to at least try it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Puffing up his chest, his golden carapace shining brightly under the sunlight, Balthazar spoke to the tax inspector in his best attempt at sounding confident.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCome now, Mr. Abernathy, look around. You can tell this is an honest business I run, nothing out of order here. Also, what I provide to all our dear adventurers every day should count as a public service, and should be exempt from taxes. Just ask any member of the Adventurers Guild. They\u2019ll tell you about my excellent reputation with them. To say nothing of my pristine record with the very guardsmen that stand behind you.\u201d The two guards exchanged brief glances at each other while keeping their formation. \u201cThey will tell you how I even helped them catch some thieves recently.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The inspector gazed down at the golden crab from behind his glasses for a moment, seemingly unfazed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cVery impressive, Mr. Balthazar, but\u2026 no, I don\u2019t believe any of that relinquishes you from the requirement of this inspection.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The deflated merchant slumped down. It would appear his opponent was much too powerful for his crabby charm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNow, let us not waste any more precious time, shall we?\u201d Abernathy said. \u201cI have many other important appointments to get to today.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI guess,\u201d Balthazar begrudgingly agreed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There was little sense in arguing at that point, and he saw no outcome of the situation that wouldn\u2019t be negative if he resisted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The inspector looked at a nearby wood table with multiple trinkets spread over it, waiting to be sorted. With one wrinkly finger outstretched, he slid it across the wooden surface before bringing it up in front of his precariously placed glasses to check for dust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The nerve of the villainous fiend, to be checking the crab\u2019s immaculate establishment like it was some unkempt low category shop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar stepped around the pile of old worn-out shoes that was still strewn about on the floor and followed Abernathy as he looked around.<\/p>\n\n\n\n If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf you see anything you like,\u201d the anxious crab said, \u201cI\u2019m sure we could arrange a good price for it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo,\u201d the wrinkly man said, squinting his eyes at some small pieces of jewelry on a display, \u201cI\u2019m afraid that would go against the code of conduct for an inspector doing his job.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He was a stingy one, it would seem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTell me, Mr. Balthazar,\u201d Abernathy started, continuing his browsing, \u201cwhat is your average daily profit here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar gulped silently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, heh, you see, uh\u2026 that\u2019s hard to say. I don\u2019t really keep an exact count. You know, very hard to count money with pincers for hands.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo you don\u2019t keep a ledger,\u201d the taxman said, giving him a brief glance from the corner of his saggy eyes. \u201cVery irregular indeed. Certainly does not bode well for you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n As the small man moved around the platform with the crab accompanying at a close distance, a giant boulder with eyes slowly approached from the side of the pond\u2019s shore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n With a smile, the golem waved one of his huge stone hands at the two of them. The two guards who were standing by the entrance quickly rushed in, spears pointed forward, ready for a fight, despite their clearly uncertain expressions and glances at each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHey, hey, hey! Easy!\u201d Balthazar hurriedly said, both pincers up in the air. \u201cHe\u2019s my guard! He\u2019s harmless to you. Not a threat!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cFriend?\u201d Bouldy said, with a slight frown, as he stared down at the crab standing in front of the two pointy spears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar looked at Abernathy, who was staring straight up over his lenses at the massive towering being standing a few steps away from him outside the wooden platform. Even if barely noticeable, his expression had the first sign of surprise he had given since arriving.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Without breaking eye contact, the inspector signaled back with his hand for the guards to put away their spears. They tucked their weapons upright between their arms and chests again and returned to their previous positions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo, a golem too,\u201d Abernathy said, slowly lowering his gaze from the creature. \u201cDo you have a permit for that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar frantically signaled with his claws for Bouldy to go back to his usual spot. He knew that as tempting as it was, starting a fight with a town inspector and two guards would do nothing but bring a world of problems to his doorstep. Despite him not even having a door at his pond to begin with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA\u2026 permit? For him?\u201d said the incredulous crab. \u201cYou people require permits to have golems?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, of course. They are powerful and potentially dangerous creatures. If someone owns one, it needs to be vetted by the town\u2019s authorities to ensure they will not be a threat to the citizens. Were you not informed of the protocol by the one who provided it to you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell,\u201d Balthazar quietly said as he scratched the side of his face with a pincer, \u201che was a slightly deranged old wizard who vanished into thin air after we made the trade, so\u2026 no, he didn\u2019t exactly mention any of that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Abernathy slowly shook his head as he pursed his lips. Reaching for his waist pouch once again, he retrieved his notebook and a quill. With raised eyebrows and looking down at the pages through his distant lenses, he took several lengthy notes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The crab kept nervously tapping on the wooden floorboards, his anxiety growing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLook, Mr. Abernathy,\u201d he finally said once the other finished his notes, \u201cfor the purpose of full disclosure, I think you should know that the one who filed the report that sent you here, Antoine, has a grudge against me. He is also the owner of his own general store in town, and sees me as competition to his business, so he has been trying to put me out of mine for a while now.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI know Mr. Antoine,\u201d the man said, back to leisurely strolling around the trading post. \u201cI remember well how he got to where he is today. And the rumors about his\u2026 methods. He has quite the reputation for being very conniving. I\u2019m well aware of that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou are?\u201d Balthazar said, growing hopeful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI certainly am.\u201d Abernathy stopped and faced the crab. \u201cHowever, rumors are just that, rumors. There has never been proof of any misdoings on his part, not even from his former associates. So, unless you have some kind of concrete evidence to present, Mr. Antoine\u2019s report is still perfectly valid and worthy of being looked into.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar exhaled quietly as the inspector gazed at the contents of a crate.<\/p>\n\n\n\n There had to be something, a weakness to his foe, anything that would help him, but the crab could not figure out what.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou clearly have a lot of supply,\u201d the man said. \u201cFrom my experience, I can safely say you must be doing fairly well for yourself, Mr. Balthazar.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMe?\u201d the gilded crab said, pointing a silver pincer at himself. \u201cNot really. Business is alright, but I\u2019m not rich or anything. Just\u2026 getting by.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPlease, Mr. Balthazar. I have been doing this job for a long time. And I certainly know a Bag of Holding Money when I see one.\u201d Abernathy gave a nod towards the bag tied to the side of the crab\u2019s shell. \u201cJust as I can tell when they\u2019re not too empty.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Foiled again, Balthazar chose not to respond. Despite all his speech, all his charisma, all his intelligence, the old taxman had him beat at every corner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI believe I\u2019ve seen enough,\u201d the inspector announced, coming to a stop in front of the crab. \u201cThis is a most unusual case, and only made more difficult by the fact you do not keep a proper ledger of business. Given the circumstances, I believe we will have to settle for an estimation of the taxes you owe.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar felt his throat go dry before opening his mouth to speak. \u201cAnd\u2026 and how much would we be talking about here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cConsidering the estimation of trades, the time you\u2019ve been here, the unlicensed golem, late fees, and so on\u2026 I believe a sum of 3000 gold is owed to our town\u2019s coffers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA sum of what now?!\u201d Balthazar exclaimed. \u201cThat\u2019s almost half\u2026 I mean, that\u2019s a lot of money. You can\u2019t possibly expect me to pay that!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The crab felt lightheaded. All his precious gold coins, all the time and effort to gather them all. And now they were coming for them. Not lowly thieves, or even birds. No, it was the man. The taxman, to be more precise. It\u2019s always the ones you should expect the most.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Regretting his choice of not keeping all his money tucked away off-shore\u2014in his islet\u2019s hole\u2014Balthazar tried thinking what his next move should be, but he felt difficulty thinking. All the turmoil of that situation was likely dropping his blood sugar levels.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Taking a stumbling step to the side, the crab reached for a basket and flipped it open while the tax inspector observed him, hands behind his back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMr. Balthazar, I\u2019d recommend against any attempts to stall the process of…\u201d Abernathy’s words trailed off as he took a long sniff, nearly making his glasses fall off the tip of his nose. \u201cIs that custard pie I smell?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cW-what?\u201d Balthazar said, his mouth stuffed with a generous chunk of pie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMy, that certainly is a divine smell,\u201d the old man said, some of his former composure shedding away. \u201cYou\u2019ll have to excuse me. It\u2019s been quite some time since I\u2019ve felt that smell. I\u2019ve sworn off sweets by my wife\u2019s demand. Health reasons, she says.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Realization slowly crept up the crab\u2019s shell, and he glanced at the half custard pie resting in the basket. As much as it pained him, desperate times called for desperate measures.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s as delicious as it smells, I can tell you,\u201d Balthazar said, as he swallowed and put on his best smile. \u201cYou\u2026 would like a slice?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The words cut him on the inside as he said them, but he endured.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, no, no, I shouldn\u2019t,\u201d Abernathy replied, with a clear lack of conviction. \u201cMy wife would be furious with me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, now, Mr. Abernathy, your wife is all the way up in town. We\u2019re here. It\u2019s just us. Nobody would tell a soul. Right, boys?\u201d Balthazar leaned to the side, looking at the two guards who, once again, awkwardly glanced at each other without a word. \u201cIs a life without pie even enjoyable? Go on.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The crab grabbed a plate and offered a slice to the inspector, who looked at it with gluttony in his eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, alright, fine, just a slice can\u2019t hurt!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n With an eagerness and joy that resembled the crab, the small man tore into the slice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n After a few minutes of pure delight, the man handed the plate back to Balthazar. The glasses had come off, and his eyes looked almost on the verge of tears with joy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat was delightful. Simply wonderful! I have to thank you for it, truly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGreat! Glad you enjoyed it,\u201d Balthazar said, trying to sound cheerful about the pie he had just given away. \u201cSay, given your agreeable mood, there wouldn\u2019t be any chance we could discuss the previous matter a little better?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNow, now, Mr. Balthazar,\u201d Abernathy said, wiping his eyes and putting his glasses back on. \u201cThat might have been a delicious experience, but I still haven\u2019t lost my senses. I take my work very seriously.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The crab felt his shell deflating once again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHowever,\u201d the man continued, \u201cI think, given the special circumstances, that we could arrange for at least some\u2026 leeway. I will give you one week to set your affairs in order, and then I shall return here to discuss matters further.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Balthazar looked suspiciously at the inspector before slowly nodding. \u201cRight, I see. That\u2019s very\u2026 kind of you. I\u2019ll make sure I will be better prepared next time. And that we can more properly discuss the situation, perhaps over some more pie.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSee that you do,\u201d Abernathy said, turning to the guards. \u201cNow I must get going. I feel incredibly sluggish after that, and cannot wait to get back to my office and\u2026 rest my eyes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Watching the three figures leave, Balthazar sighed. That was a close battle, and it was not over yet. But at least now he knew what must be done. It was time to retaliate and deploy his secret weapon: pastries.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBoss, boss!\u201d Druma shouted. \u201cFood!\u201d Putting his book down and standing up from his purple cushion, Balthazar hurriedly stepped out of his tent, eager to greet his favorite\u2014and only\u2014baker. But as he crossed the bridge, he realized Madeleine was nowhere to be seen. 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