There’s only one thing I can say then…
“I accept your apology.”
“I do too,” Maria agreed.
“Thank you,” the princes responded in unison. They looked like proper members of the royal family, but in a different way than they usually did.
“So, what did you make of it?” Jeord asked, once again looking very concerned.
I wasn’t sure of what he meant, but thankfully Alan followed up with an explanation.
“You heard the story from our father. It was dreadful, right? So, do you look down on us now, too?” he asked. He looked to be genuinely in pain as he spoke.
Oh, that’s why they looked so concerned… They’re worried that we’ll think less of them because of what their relatives did. I remember being asked the same thing after hearing about their granddad, the previous king…but my answer stays the same.
“Just as I said when I heard about your grandfather, you weren’t the ones to do those heinous things. I know both of you well, and my opinion of you won’t change just because of what I heard today,” I answered while looking straight at them.
The people I heard about today were some old royals I don’t even know. The two people in front of me are my friends that I’ve known for a long time. I’d never even try to compare them.
“I agree with Lady Katarina. The facts we learned today will not change the way we think of you,” Maria joined in.
Jeord and Alan looked extremely relieved.
“Thank you, both of you.” Jeord spoke with a real, genuine smile.
“Thanks…” Alan followed somewhat shyly.
Now they both looked like my friends again.
They had also come there to tell us that our carriage was indeed ready, and they walked us all the way there. Jeord escorted me, and his brother escorted Maria.
I looked at Alan, walking in front of me and Jeord, and wondered how things were going between him and Mary. According to the game’s plot, if he was chosen as the character to pursue, he was supposed to fall in love with Maria while at the academy, but that never happened. If he wasn’t, he ended up happily married to Mary…but those two didn’t seem to be particularly in love with each other.
Maybe he’ll fall in love with Maria during the events of FL2…
“Katarina,” Jeord asked me out of the blue, “did you not forget your bag in the drawing room?”
Much to my dismay and surprise, he was right. I had forgotten my very important bag which contained the very important Dark Covenant.
“It would seem so…” I replied sadly, and Alan gave me a look that felt like a thousand exasperated sighs compressed together.
I was released from all that tension and I just kind of…forgot…
“Let’s go to retrieve it then. Wait for us at the carriage, Alan, Maria,” Jeord said, and we went back to the drawing room.
I said that I would go by myself, since forgetting the bag was entirely my fault, but Jeord insisted on escorting me and walked alongside me all the way back there with a smile. Thankfully, my bag was still where I’d left it, and the Dark Covenant was still inside it.
“It’s here! Thank you for coming with me,” I spoke, relieved.
“Oh, don’t mention it. It was on purpose, after all,” he replied.
Huh? On purpose…?
The smile on Jeord’s face now seemed to hide some deeper meaning.
“I had noticed that you had forgotten your bag, but I said nothing so that I could spend a little time alone with you,” he explained.
Whoa! What a mastermind! I thought, with my jaw literally open from the surprise.
“And also,” he continued with a giggle, “thank you for your words earlier. I expected that you would be understanding even after hearing those dreadful tales, but the way you spoke made me truly happy.”
He looked happy too—just a normal smile with no dark undertones.
Oh, so he just wanted to thank me for that?
“I’m afraid I fell in even deeper love with you,” he added before swiftly moving dangerously close to me and grasping my hips.
“Gah?!” was the only sound I managed to make. Jeord didn’t seem to be bothered by it, and kept on staring at me with his sparkly, princely smile.
“You are the best fiancée a man could wish for. I want to marry you as soon as possible.”
I could feel my face getting warmer and warmer…and then I remembered what my father had told me not long ago.
I have to think about my own feelings… But…
“Prince Jeord, I… Well…” I started speaking, grasping for words.
“Are you scared?”
“What?” I asked back, confused. The aforementioned sparkly smile had disappeared from Jeord’s face, and now he looked somewhat melancholic.
“When I approach you like this, does it scare you? The way you draw back from me… It took me a while to realize, but is it fear that moves you so? It is, isn’t it?”
I didn’t know what to say. Fear… That word made something move deep inside my heart.
Seeing my reaction—or rather, lack thereof, Jeord spoke again.
“It seems that I was right. I was scaring you… I’m sorry for not realizing this sooner.” He looked like he was on the verge of tears.
The words of the young man I’d met earlier that day echoed through my head. I was hurting Jeord. I needed to do something. I mustered up my courage and tried to explain what I’d kept hidden inside my heart for so long.
“No, I’m not scared. Well, I am…but not of you. I’m…scared of falling in love.”
It was the first time I’d ever revealed this to anyone, and Jeord looked shocked by the revelation.
No wonder he’s shocked. It probably doesn’t make sense to him, but it’s the truth.
When I realized that I had reincarnated into Katarina Claes, I also knew that the reason behind her doom was love. She fell in love with Jeord, and the jealousy of seeing him love another girl—the protagonist, that is—led her to catastrophic results.
I knew that Katarina Claes couldn’t fall in love. I knew that I couldn’t fall in love. If I did, I risked going mad because of it, and that would be the end for me. Even before I understood these feelings, they were subconsciously keeping me from loving anyway. I could help others find love, but I couldn’t do the same thing myself. I wasn’t allowed to.
Despite all this, however, Jeord had confessed his love to me. I’d had feelings for him since before regaining the memories of my past life, but the fear of doom kept me from reciprocating. That was why I had tried to forget about Jeord’s confession, eventually succeeding.
I was scared of falling in love, and, as a result, I ended up hurting Jeord. It was just as that man had told me: I was despicable. I had run away for long enough, and now it was time to be honest with Jeord. Seeing him so saddened was what gave me the resolve to speak from the heart.
“I have always worried that I would be doomed if I ever fell in love,” I admitted. Jeord looked surprised, but he let me go on. “I still am. That is why I kept dodging your feelings. I’m really sorry.”
Of course, I couldn’t talk about Fortune Lover, but my abstract explanation seemed to be good enough for Jeord.
“Thank you for being open with me. I am very relieved to know that you were not simply scared of me,” he told me with a smile. “However, I wish there was a way to relieve you of this fear. Having you scared of romance would make things quite difficult.”
He was right. Despite all that happened, even despite all that my father had told me, I ended up giving in to fear. The thought that love would destroy me took precedence over everything else. But now that Jeord had helped me realize why I couldn’t keep being so weak, I thought that I wanted to change.
“I’ve kept my eyes shut because of fear all this time, but I won’t do so anymore. I want to take my feelings in my own hands…and yours too.”
Jeord’s face as he listened to me was now so happy that I suddenly felt embarrassed. Even if I could have worked a bit more on the delivery, at least I’d finally thought and spoken about my feelings, like father had encouraged me to do.
That being said, there was still a problem. Doom was still there, waiting for me, and it was closer than ever. Being honest about my feelings would do me no good if I were dead, and I was the type of person who could only concentrate on one thing at a time.
“I-I’m sorry if this sounds like I’m taking back what I just said, but I can’t accept your feelings right now. I’m currently struggling with an urgent problem, you see, and until I’m done with that I don’t really have, you know…the mental capacity…”
I felt a bit bad about letting Jeord down while he looked so happy, but he just grinned, unsurprised.
“You have looked very concerned since you started working at the Magical Ministry. Don’t worry. I will wait. I have waited long enough that a little more time will hardly make a difference. But if you ever need some support, please do rely on me,” he declared, much to my relief.
I was also honestly surprised that he’d noticed how concerned I’d been since starting my job at the Ministry. He’d even noticed how frightened I was, even though he had guessed the wrong reason for it. Jeord was always looking out for me, and he always noticed when something was wrong.
We had known each other since I was eight years old, and he was always there when I needed him. I didn’t understand my feelings completely yet, and I was still fearful and bewildered. But I knew that Jeord was very important to me. As embarrassing as it was, I wanted to tell him about how I really felt. Once again, I gathered my courage and started speaking.
“Love still leaves me confused, and a bit scared, but when you said that you loved me, that made me very, very happy. I could only be happy hearing something like that coming from a person as wonderful as you are.”
Jeord was a handsome, talented, and kind prince. How could I not be happy? But I had been so scared that I had tried to forget that happiness for the longest time.
At this point, the piled-up embarrassment from the whole conversation got to me, and I couldn’t stand it anymore. I ran away from the drawing room, leaving Jeord behind.
I really need to do something about my philophobia…and possibly about the awkwardness that comes with it too.
My face felt like it was burning, and I imagined it was bright red. Thankfully, since I’d sprinted all the way to the carriage, Maria and Alan thought that I was blushing because of the exertion.
When Alan asked where his brother had gone, I lied and told him that he had to leave because of an urgent matter. After all that I’d told Jeord that day, just being in the same room as him would kill me from sheer embarrassment.
Maria and I rode on the carriage and left the castle to go back to the Ministry.
Jeord’s words had helped me realize my true feelings…but there was one more person that I had to relay them to.
Will I manage to do it? Any more awkwardness today and I think I’m going to pass out…
★★★★★★
My father, Orwen Stuart, King of Sorcié, summoned me.
He told me that he would be speaking with my fiancée, Katarina Claes, and the Wielder of Light, Maria Campbell, about the struggle for the crown and how this led to the spread of Dark Magic.
I myself had only learned of these facts recently, as they had happened when I was still too young to have any memories of them. I remember being surprised, ashamed on behalf of the whole royal family, and sorry toward Katarina.
I have always respected my father’s efforts to be a fair ruler, and, as a prince, I believed that what he was going to do was worthy of praise. As a man, however, the matter was not quite as straightforward. My fear was that upon learning the shameful past of my relatives, Katarina would start thinking less of me.
Previously, I had told her that people had died as a result of royal infighting. I feared that would be enough to warrant her distrust, but instead she replied that, no matter how related we were, she knew that the previous king and I were different people, and that the actions of the former would not inform her opinion on the latter.
Her words had made me happy upon hearing them and hopeful now—hopeful that she would react in the same way after listening to father’s recounting.
But would she? That story was one covered in blood. I would certainly start seeing someone in a different light, if only slightly so, after learning that their relatives had committed such horrible deeds. This thought, in turn, made me wince.
While I waited for my father to end his conversation with the two girls, time seemed to slow down to a painful extent. As soon as we saw him leave the room, my brother Alan and I quickly made our way toward Katarina and Maria.
Never before in my life had I been so nervous doing something so simple as knocking on a door. When Katarina’s familiar voice replied, we walked inside.
The girls were talking to each other, and, when they eventually noticed that it was us who had entered the room, they seemed surprised.
I smiled as I always did and greeted them, ready to fulfill my duty as a royal. I had to apologize, like my father had already done, for the results of my relatives’ fight for succession. Alan, who was of the same mind on this issue, lowered his head alongside mine.
Katarina quickly accepted our apology, and I found myself enamored with the resolve she was showing despite the circumstances. My brother and I thanked her for her kindness, and then I asked her about what I had been the most concerned about.
“So, what did you make of it?”
After I spoke, Alan did too.
“You heard the story from our father. It was dreadful, right? So, do you look down on us too now?”
Silence fell onto the room, and I could not bring myself to look Katarina in the face.
She told us that her opinion of us would never change because of the actions of somebody else. Her eyes showed no hint of lying, nor, as I had worried, hate toward us. Katarina really was the kind of woman I believed her to be.
Maria followed, agreeing with my fiancée and furthering my relief. We thanked both of them and walked them to the carriage that was to take them home.
I prepared to escort Katarina for the first time in a while, and I noticed that she had forgotten her bag. I could have taken it for her, but I realized that this could give me an opportunity to be alone with her.
My plan worked out, and when she thanked me for coming back all the way with her to retrieve her forgotten bag, I revealed that I had kept quiet about it on purpose. She seemed very surprised—a girl as innocent as her would probably never think of doing something like that. Her confused expression as she heard of my plan was lovely as well.
I thanked her again for accepting our apology, and her confusion seemed to disappear. She probably thought that I had wanted to be alone with her to simply state my gratitude again. That was one misunderstanding that I could not accept, so I moved closer to her, grabbing her sides. I told her that I wanted to marry her as soon as possible, and her face flushed. My real intentions had gotten through to her, but, much to my dismay, she started awkwardly mumbling as if to find an excuse to get away from me.
The thought had been on my mind for a very long time, and I finally confronted her about it. I asked her whether she was scared of me. Since I had confessed my love to her, approaching her like this would always lead to similar reactions. At first, I was happy that she had finally started seeing the advances I made toward her as such, but lately I had started to notice the look of fear that appeared on her face every single time.
I had tried to ignore that reality for a long time, but it was time to confirm my apprehensions. If she were scared of me, I would have to accept her and her fears all the same, just as she had accepted me after hearing the truth about the history of my family. With that said, her answer could very well be devastating for me.
Even before she answered, her silence informed me that my question had hit the mark. As I realized this, my heart burnt with pain. I must have looked pitiful, almost crying, as I apologized for being so slow to notice her fear.
But then she spoke again. She told me that she wasn’t scared of me. She was scared of love itself.
It was now my turn to be surprised. Katarina rarely ever showed any fear to begin with, and she often enjoyed reading romance novels. For the longest time, I had believed that she was simply too slow to understand and too shy to act when it came to love, much like her adoptive brother.
However, she kept talking. This time, she told me that she feared that falling in love could lead her to her doom. I did not understand how those two things could ever possibly be related, but she looked extremely serious, and I kept listening. She explained her fears to me, and while I was still very confused about her motivations, I was relieved to hear that she was not scared of me.
The issue that remained was how to fix this fear of hers, as it was effectively keeping me from romancing her. Just as I stated this, her response made me so happy that I could not keep a straight face. She told me that she wanted to take her feelings—as well as mine—in her own hands.
Despite being engaged to each other, my love for Katarina had been unrequited for a very long time. At first she did not understand my feelings, and after I clearly stated them for her, she seemed to forget about them. Nothing in the world could make me happier than if she was ready to accept them. It felt as if my love was going to be accepted for the first time, however slightly.
I was reveling in happiness, almost in awe, when Katarina told me something else—that she was now facing a personal hurdle that would temporarily keep her from focusing on romance. I remembered that she had seemed concerned about something since she had started her job at the Magical Ministry, just as she had when she had just joined the Academy of Magic. I knew that she was keeping some kind of secret from all of us, but I would not force her to speak about it if she did not want to. All that I cared about was always being ready to help her in any way I could.
The fact that she had spoken with me about this other concern of hers also made me happy, and I told her with a smile that I would gladly wait for her issues to be over. In response, she thanked me with a look of relief on her face. As for me, I was ready to wait longer. More importantly, what mattered to me was that Katarina had shared her true feelings with me. I could feel the warmth building up in my chest.
Then, all of a sudden, Katarina gave me another preoccupied look. Before I could even ask her what was wrong, she told me about how my confession to her had made her happy. As soon as she was done speaking, she sprinted out of the room, her face now bright red.
I was left there by myself, too shocked to move. Her words kept echoing in my head. I used to think that her reactions to me meant that she disliked me, or even that she feared me. I had assumed that to her, my confession of love had been a surprising thing but not a pleasant one.
“‘I could only be happy hearing something like that coming from a person as wonderful as you are…’” I repeated to myself, as if to make sure that I had not merely dreamed it.
I felt feverish, and I must have been so red in the face that one could see steam coming off it. I had loved her for so long. She was the special girl who had brought color into my boring gray life. Even after we grew into adults, this never changed. Thanks to her, I was able to experience emotions that I did not know I possessed.
On this day, I found out that too much happiness made me freeze in place.
★★★★★★
I had to insist that I was fine a few times to convince Maria that my red face wasn’t a problem, and by the time she had stopped worrying, our carriage had already reached the Ministry. The workday was also just about over.
Cyrus and Larna came to see us and asked about our summons, so we told them about how we’d shown the king the covenants and promised to help him. We didn’t tell them about the story of how Dark Magic spread though. Maria and I had decided that we would keep it a secret, even if it was possible that our two superiors already knew about it.
After talking for a short bit, it was time for everyone to leave and go home. I parted ways with Maria and headed toward the usual carriage for the Claes mansion. Sora walked me all the way there, as he always did—he claimed that it was just a meaningless habit for him.
While I was walking with my colleague, I thought back to Jeord and the conversation we’d had earlier. Just thinking about it was enough to make me blush again… I really needed to get used to romance at least a little bit.
Even in my past life, despite reaching high school, I’d never fallen in love with anyone. Maybe it would have happened eventually, but I died before that could happen. And now, in my new life, I’ve been subconsciously avoiding love out of fear, my only knowledge of it coming from romance novels.
In both lives, previous and current ones, none of the girls I was friends with seemed particularly interested in love either, so we never chatted about that sort of thing.
I must know someone who’s interested in that kind of thing…
I looked to my side and saw Sora, who had traveled through many countries enjoying the highs and lows of life. Surely, he’d had a relationship or two. Or ten.
“Say, Sora, how many girlfriends have you had so far?” I asked him.
“Huh? What’s this all of a sudden?” he replied, surprised by my sudden question.
Wait, we had pretty much this same conversation when I wanted to learn about escaping prison cells…
“I just wanted to, you know, learn more about romance. But pretty much none of my other friends have ever had girlfriends or boyfriends. What about you?”
“Go guess what’s going through her head this time…” he mumbled with a sigh, before replying to me, “I’ve had a few, yeah.”
“I knew it! Girls can’t look past a guy as attractive as you, huh!”
Sora fell silent for a moment. “Attractive?” he repeated to himself.
“And how did you end up being boyfriend and girlfriend? Was it, like, fate that brought you together?” I asked excitedly, thinking of how fateful all encounters were in the romance novels I read.
“Nothing like that,” he replied, kind of weirded out. “We’d just somehow end up dating and then break up when things stopped working out.”
This is the least romantic answer possible…
“What?! Are you serious?! Don’t you date because you love each other?! And isn’t breaking up something you do while crying and only because life has been so cruel in splitting you two apart?!”
“You really read too many romance novels. Real life doesn’t work that way,” he sighed, looking at me with pity.
That can’t be true. I know that romance novels exaggerate things a little bit, but those things do happen in real life…right? Why’s he looking at me like that?!
“B-But you do love each other, don’t you? And breaking up is still painful, isn’t it?”
“I just dated girls that I kind of liked, and then we’d naturally drift apart with no fuss,” he replied.
I was shocked by his definition of romance. I had thought that love and dating were sacred things that one had to put a lot of thought into.
“Well,” he then continued, seeing my disappointed reaction, “that could be just me though. Maybe some couples are just like the ones in your romance novels.”
Sora had always been living on the outskirts of society, so maybe his love life had been unusual as well.
“So, did that ever happen to you? Did you ever date a girl because you loved her?” I asked, and he started staring at me.
I was puzzling over whether that look was meant as a yes-stare or a no-stare, but before I could be certain, Sora sighed again.
“I never understood that kind of thing until recently,” he revealed.
“What kind of thing?”
“Love and such.”
So, does that mean that…Sora also has no experience with real romance? He’s just like Keith was originally supposed to be in the game then! He’s fooled around with a lot of girls, but he doesn’t know anything about true love!
“So we’re in the same boat. Neither of us knows anything about love.” I was happy to have someone to share my predicament with.
“Don’t you force people onto your boat. I said until recently. I understand it better now.”
If he understands it now…did he fall in love?! I thought he wasn’t that attracted to Maria, but I must’ve been wrong!
“When did you fall in love with Maria?! I didn’t notice at all!”
“Huh? What’s Campbell got to do with anything?” he asked, obviously confused.
But he’s a character from FL2… He’s supposed to fall in love with her…
“What?! It’s not her? Who is it then?” I inquired.
After staring at me silently for a second, he flicked my forehead with his finger.
“Ouch! What are you doing?!” I shouted. The pain in my forehead was enough to make me mad at him. Instead of addressing that, Sora looked away.
“What’s even the point in learning about romance?” he asked.
“I want to learn more so that I can experience it myself t—”
“You can’t get ready for romance just by learning about it from other people!”
“What? Really?”
“Let me give you some advice, since I have more experience than you. You can’t learn about romance, and you can’t learn about love. One day, you just fall in love and realize you can’t fight your own feelings, and that’s it.”
“That sounds so romantic!” I shrieked, impressed by Sora’s wonderful advice, and tried to jump toward him to express my deep respect with a hug…but he stopped me by pushing my head away.
Looking from between his fingers, I could see that he was blushing. Maybe he was embarrassed because he’d said something so emotional, just like what had happened to me with Jeord.
He then dragged me to the carriage and basically threw me into it.
On my way back home, I thought some more about Sora’s words about love, realizing that they sounded very true…and also very much like the lyrics to some generic pop love song from my previous world.
You can’t learn about love… But will I ever fall in love? I can’t even imagine that right now.
At least I had decided to face Jeord’s feelings for me, and I’d even told him about it. I also had to do the same with Keith. I knew that the more I waited, the more difficult it would be to bring it up, so I made up my mind to do it as soon as I reached home.
Just thinking about it is so embarrassing I can feel my face boiling… I have to do my best!
★★★★★★
As I, Sora Smith, walked back to the dormitory, I was fanning my head as hard as I could, hoping that it would cool down. As usual, it was her fault—that dense Katarina Claes.
She started asking me about romance and love out of the blue. She’d always been so shy (and dense) about this kind of thing that she wouldn’t even talk about love when speaking of romance novels, so her question surprised me so much that I just ended up replying honestly. To top it all off, I even started spouting nonsense about how you can’t learn about love and this and that. I wished I could disappear from the face of the earth.
I wasn’t always like this. I used to be able to breeze through life without getting attached to anything. It all changed when I met her. She just had a way of messing me up and forcing me to do things at her pace. I was scared that her dumb trust and naivety had also infected me.
If somebody had told me I’d find myself having feelings this strong for a girl, I wouldn’t have believed them. I had my fair share of experience with girls, and romance had been a fun game for me… But now everything was different. I got excited just because she called me attractive and my heart started racing when she stared into my eyes. I was acting like a kid who’d never slept with a woman before.
What’s happened to me? I asked myself, and the worst part was that, whatever had happened, I was enjoying it.
★★★★★★
My carriage eventually reached home. Normally, at this point I would only have to eat dinner and go to bed—lovely, easy tasks. This time, however, I had something else that I needed to get done.
I gathered my courage and entered the manor, starting to walk to my room when, in the middle of a hallway, I ran into Keith.
“Welcome back… Is anything the matter? You are making quite the weird face,” he greeted me, noticing how nervous I was.
“It’s nothing! Don’t worry! By the way, there’s something that I want to talk to you about. Can I come to your room after dinner?”
“Of course. You can come in anytime,” he immediately replied with a smile.
He probably thought that I wanted to vent to him about something, as I had previously done many a time. I was grateful for this misunderstanding, since I didn’t want to tell him what I wanted to talk about yet. That would make for one awkward dinner.
Having set that up, I went back to my room and prepared for my meal. I was so nervous that I couldn’t eat as much as usual, and this ended up worrying Keith even more… Maybe I shouldn’t have waited until after dinner after all.
After we were done eating, I went to Keith’s room.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” he asked. He looked ready to help me let off some steam, and I felt blessed to have such a good brother. He was always there to comfort me through hard times and to help me solve my problems.
If I think about it, I really owe a lot to him. Nah, I don’t even need to think about it.
Keith and Jeord were both incredibly talented, handsome, and kind men. I couldn’t get my head around why they would fall in love with me. I knew both of them well enough to tell that they wouldn’t confess their love just as a prank or joke, but this only made it more confusing.
Why me?!
I wasn’t trying to be self-deprecating or modest. I just thought that I was a pretty average girl. I didn’t have any particular talent and I wasn’t exceptionally beautiful. The only remarkable thing about me was the rank of my family, which I had in common with the Katarina from the game. Unlike her, however, I had a lot of wonderful, smart, kind, and beautiful female friends—first and foremost, Maria. Both Jeord and Keith had a lot of interactions with these friends of mine, but instead of falling in love with them, they somehow ended up choosing me.
Could it be that they’re so used to beautiful girls that they grew bored of them and wanted someone a bit plainer for variety’s sake? Or maybe they’re just into villainess faces? To each their own, I guess.
“Big Sister? Is anything wrong?” Keith worriedly asked me, bringing me out of my train of thought and back down to earth.
I can’t make him worry even more! I’m here to tell him about my feelings and such!
“Keith…” I began, mustering up all of my courage, “it’s about when you confessed to me.”
“You didn’t forget about that?!”
Seeing his surprise made me feel sorry for him. He thought I’d forgotten about it…and, well, I had. Until today. I had forced myself to forget about it. I took a deep breath and spoke.
“I didn’t forget it, but I pushed the memory back into a corner of my mind,” I continued.
“So my feelings were a nuisance,” Keith murmured, and his face grew sadder and more tense.
I’m hurting him again… That’s not what I want to do!
“No! I’ve never thought that for a second. It’s just that I’m scared of romance, and I was running away from it without even realizing it,” I explained, raising my voice almost to the point of shouting.
“Scared of romance?” he asked, his eyes wide open.
“Yes. I’ve always thought that falling in love would lead me to my doom. That’s why. I was scared, but I never realized it, and just kept avoiding romance altogether, trying to forget about things like your confession. I’m sorry I did this to you after you told me about how you felt.”
I lowered my head, and he started gently patting it.
“Thank you for telling me honestly. And I’m sorry for not realizing that you felt that way,” he said.
I looked up and saw that he was awkwardly smiling.
No… That’s not how I want to make him feel!
“No, wait! I didn’t realize this myself either. Not until now at least. But now that I do, I want to change that,” I declared, looking him in the eye, “I want to take my feelings, and yours too, in my own hands.”
“Big Sis…”
Now he was really smiling. I was relieved to see that, but I knew that even though I’d managed to bring up this very difficult topic, I still had something left to say.